Founder of Brain Insights and Neuro-Nurturing Creator Author Deborah McNelis, 70, Dies After Battle with Cancer

Carey Sipp 10/15/256:15 PM

(Author’s note – Deborah McNelis and I were dear friends, partners in advancing the concept of Neuro-Nurturing, and webinar buddies, having created and or participated in about 40 webinars since we met in April, 2023. We only knew each other for two-and-a-half years, but spent many hours together on the phone, Zoom, and on webinars as hosts, panelists, speakers, raising awareness of the lifelong protective value of advancing healthy early brain development. I loved and respected Deb deeply; she is sorely missed. All involved with PACES Connection appreciated her generosity, enthusiasm for the mission, and support. We were on a parallel track to create a movement ensuring that all children – and inner children – thrive by lifting up pregnant and newly-delivered mothers, new fathers, foster parents, caregivers, and community members by helping them understand their vital role, as emotionally regulated adults, in Neuro Nurturing healthy brain development. While I am not yet sure how her work will be continued, I know it will continue. As long as I am involved in PACEs Connection, the concept of Neuro Nurturing will be advanced to help prevent child abuse and neglect; to help promote positive maternal, infant, child, and community experiences. Greater likelihood of health and wellbeing across the lifespan begins with the foundational and consistent safety, stability, and nurture so vitally important to healthy infant and child brain development.)

Friend and supporter of PACEs Connection, and author of The First 60 Days (which highlights the importance of “Neuro-Nurturing” infants in the first two months of life), Deborah McNelis passed away last Friday after a sudden and brief battle with cancer. She had recently turned 70.

After discovering PACEs Connection via Twitter and LinkedIn, Deborah’s “The First 60 Days” booklet, now a book, was reviewed on PACEs Connection. She began posting on the social networking site, sharing opportunities for fellow members to learn more about “what babies need most” (for adults to understand the importance of early brain development) in her monthly e-newsletter, and participated in multiple webinars in support of PACEs Connection programs.

Her 2023 PACEs Connection conference presentation, “What if Babies Ran the Workplace,” explored how the world might change if babies were the CEOs: people wouldn’t come to work when sick or when they needed to care for a loved one, and they’d demand universal health care, paid family leave, and access to high quality childcare. In that talk, she made a compelling case for affordable, brain-boosting childcare, urging that childcare workers be treated as professionals they are.

A central tool in her work was her signature series of ringed books (“packets”), each containing 40 age-appropriate, developmentally matched activities paired with the neuroscience rationale behind them. Canadian publisher Redleaf Press contracted her to adapt materials to support infant’s and children’s transitions—from one activity to the next—with brain-friendly strategies.

Deb often said: “Most people don’t realize the signals babies give about overstimulation or boredom. It is important to honor their rhythms and make transitions—feeding to napping, play to rest—smooth and respectful of their internal states.”

Deborah’s career as an early childhood brain development expert spanned nearly 50 years. She often recalled that at age 19 she had a moment of clarity that started her on this path.

“I was watching a concert with little children. They were obviously adored and nurtured and enjoyed making music together. And I realized in that moment I wanted all children to experience being loved, expressive, and appreciated for their own uniqueness, and it dawned on me that not all the adults in children’s lives know what children really need most from them – that unconditional love and acceptance,” Deb said.

Her journey began as a kindergarten teacher. When parents asked how they might support their infants and toddlers at home, she first jotted ideas on 3×5 cards. Over time, she refined them into the handy pocket-sized ringed booklets—each offering activities and the “why behind the action”—to help parents and caregivers engage knowledgeably and confidently.

“For example, sorting sticks and rocks by size, shape, and color may not seem important. But sorting helps children develop the skills to be able to write, or develop other hand-to-eye coordination based skills. Every activity has a purpose,” Deb said.

Late in 2023, Deb was contracted through PACEs Connection and Healthy Blue (North Carolina) to deliver a project supporting foster parents of young children. Over the course of 27 webinars (in collaboration with Carey Sipp, now volunteer co-director of PACEs Connection), she introduced participants to Neuro-Nurturing principles. The feedback included 100% of participants reporting at least some degree of increased confidence in parenting, and 97.4% saying they would recommend the webinar to other parents.

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Deborah McNelis was born in Minnesota on September 1, 1955.

A beloved mother, educator, author, and visionary founder of Brain Insights, Deb coined and popularized the term Neuro Nurturing—a philosophy of promoting early relational health and healthy brain development grounded equally in science and compassion.

As her daughter, Tracy Thompson, who collaborated with Deb from the very beginning, helping with research, writing, creating content and supporting her goals behind the scenes, said, “Through her writing, speaking, and workshops, she translated the miracle of early brain development into insights and doable practices. Her mission was always to make nurturing relationships and responsive care central to how we support every child and caregiver.”

Deb founded Brain Insights, LLC, in 2008. She launched the First 60 Days Movement about three years ago to emphasize the profound impact of the first two months of brain development after a study on the timing of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) was published in 2019 and then written about by Bruce Perry, MD, in his 2021 book co-authored by Oprah Winfrey, “What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing”.

Her Neuro Nurturing Interaction Packets, along with books and toolkits, reached families, educators, and communities across the U.S. and around the globe. According to braininsightsonline.com research, a total of more than 250,000 of these ringed booklets and packets – in English and Spanish – are in use worldwide.

Her first fiction book, The Reminder, released just months ago, “speaks to the core of who we are—interweaving themes of essence, memory, and love. Her creative voice enriched many lives,” Tracy wrote in Deborah’s obituary.

Beyond her professional achievements, Deborah was cherished for her warmth, steady faith in human potential, and her rare ability to make complex science accessible and full of hope. She served on the boards of organizations including The Powerful Project, The Global Presence, and the Wellness for Children Initiative.

Deborah is survived by her daughters, Tracy (Schmid) Thompson and her husband, Jason, and Trisha (Schmid) Helchinger and her husband, Franz; her cherished grandchildren Benjamin, Zachary, Levi, Ava, and Max; and a wide circle of family and friends—siblings, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, and their families.

The family requests that those who wish to honor Deborah do so by making a gift in her name to early childhood development programs, PACEs Connection, or The Powerful Project.

As Tracy said,

“Her memory will live on in the countless children whose early lives were shaped by her vision—and in the many adults she inspired to nurture with purpose and love. Her legacy is a generation of children who know they are worthy of love, from the very beginning.”

What others who worked with her on the Neuro Nurturing webinars are saying about the passing of Deborah McNelis:

I join you in the shock, grief and sadness at Deb’s passing. I met Deb as a co-traveler on the long journey to anchor our systems in the truth that early life nurturance is how we can thrive even as life brings natural struggles.May we stay the course in her honor and light and continue to build an inescapable movement for transformation.

With gratitude for Deb and deep awareness of the mystery and profundity of this life we seek to nourish and protect!

– Christina Bethell, PhD, founder of the Child and Adolescent Health Measurement Initiative, professor, Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health

When we prioritize early relational health and Neuro Nurturing, we equip parents and support persons to become the child’s first and strongest protective factor. A regulated, emotionally healthy caregiver fosters deeper bonds and richer interactions, laying the groundwork for how a child learns, loves, and thrives for a lifetime. Deb was a sweet and generous soul, and I was looking forward to connecting with her in person to advance the work of early relational health and Neuro Nurturing. Although our hearts are heavy, we will ensure her legacy lives on.

– Demetrius Geiger, MPH – Manager Social Impact programs, CHC: Creating Healthier Communities

Deborah McNelis was an amazing force of goodness and positivity. We will try to carry on with her work, with humility and homage in Deb’s honor.

– “Denni” Diana Fishbein, PhD, founder, director, and president of the National Prevention Science Coalition to Improve Lives, Senior Scientist in the FPG Child Development Institute at University of North Carolina